How To Approach Me With Scamcoin Jobs

<Cadey> Don't. Seriously don't. I have net negative interest in them and will actively waste your time to avoid you scamming some sorry sucker out of their sanity and hope for the future. The only blockchain I'm excited to work with is Git. Do not try to convince me that scamcoin is the next coming of sliced bread. Go buy furry art from actual artists instead of white nationalist monkeys.

As a side effect of my blog's apparent popularity, I get a lot of people from many different backgrounds contacting me asking me if I want to work with them or for their company. These are almost always turned down, but recently I had an interaction with someone trying to shill a job at me that was so transparently bad that I feel I should sub-blog them.

<Mara> Sub-blogging? Is that like sub-tweeting but in longform?

<Cadey> Yes, it's a thing. Several posts on this site are sub-blogging examples. Won't tell which ones.

Usually you can tell what way these things are going to go by the subject line. Here's the subject line that I got yesterday:

Blockchain company I am applying to

<Cadey> Oh boy.

And here's the body ([emphasis] mine):

I am applying to work for [scammers] on his blockchain projects and came across your projects and ideas and you are someone I would want to work with, thus I am telling you about this job I am applying for. Here is the original job post tweet: [LINK EXPUNGED] with the corrected description below.

<Numa> Is this a recruiter?

I like that you have a variety of projects in a variety of languages

<Numa> Totally reads like a recruiter.

Are you good at @golang? Want to make $175,000 a year? Speak good English? I want to hire you. Remote. Blockchain software all sucks. We're making it suck less. [We want to fork the Go Ethereum server], porting this to [buzzword] after mainnet launch. Direct message me [on Telegram] or email me (I hate email) at [LINK EXPUNGED] I'll give you a 15 minute test to filter out the noobs. Pulsechain mainnet MVP: testnet. [LINK EXPUNGED] working with [incomprehensible]. bridges: ETH, large ERC20s. Uniswap v2 fronted for [buzzword]. Block explorer. Post MVP: trading: pancakeswap fork, insanely important, LP rewards for ERC20/PRC20 pairs. Coin ranking site for PRC20s. Wallet: replace metamask (electron app for cross platform). Uniswap but across chains. More bridges: to start, then btc, bnb, bch, in that order. Network: pulsechain. Uniswap v3 front end. Stablecoin from my exchange I'm making. Aggregator: replace [waste of human effort] market orders and limit orders. Margin trading. [why does that exist] (we already have hexnado already can modify).

Look forward to hearing from you and possibly working with you.

Thank You,

[NAME EXPUNGED]

<Numa> What the hell is that? That's a bunch of "sentences" that seemingly have no real understandable quality to them. It reads like an AI took every scamcoin tweet and SEO blog and threw it in a blender with GPT-3 and laundry sauce, then someone prompted it with "Blockchain software all sucks. We're making it suck less." and hoped it made sense.

<Mara> Maybe this person isn't a native English speaker, we should at least be charitable as to what they're saying in order to avoid pissing people off. Not like we want to take this job anyways...

<Cadey> I'm with the raging side here. This is hardly understandable, even more since I only know enough about scamcoin to know I never want to associate with it. This is transparently someone trying to drum up hype in a product that doesn't exist yet by claiming to be a peer so that it looks like they're more trustable.

<Numa> Yeah, this is so transparently an advertisement. Who the hell contacts someone out of the blue letting them know about a job they applied for without there being some kind of financial motivation for the person doing the contact? Maybe we could work a reading comprehension test in there too for shits and giggles!

Hello,

My minimum salary for blockchain related projects is 600,000 USD per year payable in Automated Clearing House amounts twice monthly (your payroll system probably supports this already). I do not care about being paid in cryptocurrency. I prefer USA fiat currency. Since you said you want to hire me, what should I do to move forward with this?

Thanks and be well,

<Mara> Why add that thing about being paid in US dollars?

<Numa> If you don't add that the scamcoin people will offer to pay you exclusively in scamcoin!

<Mara> Why would they do that? Shouldn't a job you apply to pay you in real money?

<Numa> A sucker's born every minute. Plus it's trivial for them to spin up a billion memecoins out of nothing in a project this early in the game despite what they claim about being able to print money out of nowhere being impossible in scamcoin spaces.

<Mara> I see.

<Numa> SEND!

Some time later:

<Numa> lol we got a reply:

Wow, you didn't peruse what I wrote, I am a software engineer who is applying for the same position I wrote to you about. I don't work for [scam artist] or [proper noun], yet. Thanks for replying though

<Numa> Sure you are. That makes sense that you as a software engineer applying for jobs would try to drum up hype in a company you don't even work for yet. THAT MAKES SENSE!!!

<Mara> Didn't we do that with Tailscale though, even if just a little?

<Cadey> Fair, but that was different, Tailscale actually has a product that isn't related to making people think they own a jpeg with funny money that you used to be able to use to buy drugs with.

This looks like a great place to bring out the idiot fee. Draft ho!

Ah, in that case my fee is 1.2 million dollars per year in salary. Thank you for understanding.

There was no reply.

<Numa> No fun, this could have been even more amusing!

<Cadey> If you are going to try to shill a scamcoin job to a writer, please at least put some effort into the wording you use. So many people have been trained to assume that dodgy English = blatant scam.

Also I am happy with my current job, so you won't really be able to get me over anyways.